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How to Prevent a “Sleep Divorce”

April 19, 2024  ·  9 min read

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Have you heard of the term “sleep divorce” before? In recent years, this term has been popping up all over social media and in sleep-related content online — and to be honest, it was a bit baffling to us at first. At first glance, it can seem like the term “sleep divorce” means that there is trouble in the relationship, but that is not always the case. Getting a sleep divorce can, however, have lasting consequences on your relationship, which is why couples unhappy with their shared sleeping situation should do everything in their power to make things right. 

If you and your partner are on the brink of getting a sleep divorce and are wondering what can be done to rectify your slumber situation, the mattress experts at Texas Mattress Makers are here to explain what a sleep divorce really is, how it can impact your relationship and your health, and what can be done to prevent it. Without further ado, let’s dive into the implications of this phenomenon. 

KEY POINTS:

  • A sleep divorce refers to when couples decide to sleep apart for the sake of their sleep quality.
  • Sleeping in separate beds can have lasting implications on your relationship, your sleep quality, and in turn, your overall health.
  • A custom mattress tailored to both your and your partner’s needs can help resolve sleep incompatibilities. 

What is sleep divorce?

A sleep divorce refers to the phenomenon where couples who are experiencing sleep incompatibilities resort to sleeping in separate beds or rooms for the sake of their sleep quality.  Sleep incompatibilities are a lot more common in relationships than people realize. 

The data surrounding sleep divorce

According to a 2023 sleep prioritization survey conducted by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, more than one-third of the participants stated that they “occasionally or consistently sleep in another room to accommodate a bed partner.” In this study, the researchers also found that “nearly half (42%) of Americans do not adjust their sleep routine to accommodate a bed partner.” 

So, why do sleep divorces happen?

 Infographic from Texas Mattress Makers about sleep divorce.

Sleeping in the same bed as another person is a very intimate and vulnerable experience and unfortunately, we can’t always control what happens while we sleep. Some partners snore, some partners toss and turn, some partners steal blankets…the list goes on and on. As human beings, quality sleep is essential for our body’s functionality — without those full 7-9 hours, our health and happiness are in jeopardy. If your partner is the source of your sleep disturbances, we understand that it may seem like the answer is to retreat to the guest room or the couch to get your snooze on, but this might not always be the case. Now that we’ve established what this phenomenon is, let’s discuss the sleep divorce pros and cons.

Sleep divorce pros and cons

Although societally we are conditioned to believe that we must sleep in the same bed as our partner, there can be some benefits to this arrangement for couples who struggle with sleep incompatibility. Some articles have even said that couples reported better sleep quality after sleeping apart. 

Pros of a sleep divorce can include:

  • Both parties can get uninterrupted sleep
  • Each party can go to bed when they want
  • Each person can sleep on a surface that is comfortable to their preferences 
  • There will be less fighting about sleep differences 
  • Each person can have a space that feels like their own

What happens when couples stop sleeping together?

Before we dive into the implications that sleeping separately can have, we want to be clear that there are no right or wrong answers here. If you’re wondering, “Is it OK for married couples to sleep apart?” we want to reassure you that there is nothing wrong with sleeping in a separate bed as your partner. The reason that we are providing this data is to give those couples who would rather sleep in the same bed a solution if they are experiencing sleep incompatibility. 

With that being said, here are some of the cons of a sleep divorce: 

  • Decreased feelings of connection in the relationship
  • Difficulty falling asleep 
  • Increased risk of insomnia symptoms 
  • Less likely to get deeper sleep
  • Increased likeliness of fatigue or daytime sleepiness
  • Increased risk of anxiety and depression

There are many benefits of sleeping next to someone you love that can strengthen your bond and your wellness. While sleeping in separate beds is not the end of the world, it can have lasting implications on your relationship, your sleep quality, and in turn, your overall health.

How to prevent a sleep divorce

If sleeping in separate beds or rooms does not sound like a plausible option to you and your partner, then we have the solutions you’re looking for. While some couples may decide to sleep separately due to snoring or mismatched sleep schedules, many of the issues they’re facing could be fixed with the right mattress. 

Unfortunately, many beds for couples are not made with both parties in mind. Oftentimes, one person in the couple will have to sacrifice their preferences or needs for the sake of the other (for example, the husband likes a firm mattress but his wife prefers a softer feel). This act of settling and not having both parties’ needs met can lead to sleep incompatibility and ultimately result in a sleep divorce. 

Your mattress is the foundation of your sleep quality. If you are sleeping on a bad mattress, you’re going to get bad-quality sleep. Before packing up your pillow and moving to the guest room, assess your current mattress. Is the comfort level only enjoyable for one party? Is anyone waking up with aches and pains? Does the mattress trap body heat and make the bed feel like an oven? If so, the best solution is to find a mattress that will suit both of you perfectly. That’s where we come in.

Solution #1: Invest in a custom mattress

Here at Texas Mattress Makers, as the mattress manufacturer and retailer, we can create a custom mattress for you and your partner that will meet both of your unique needs. Whether you and your bed buddy have drastically different needs or one is dealing with health issues such as sleep apnea, a custom mattress can help resolve sleep incompatibilities so you both can sleep together in peace. 

In this video, our mattress experts explain how our factory can make you and your partner the best mattress for couples with different preferences.

Custom mattresses are a perfect solution for troubled sleepers in a relationship. Here is what a real Texas Mattress Makers customer had to say about her and her husband’s custom mattress!

“Texas Mattress Makers made us a custom Vermont King mattress where my husband and I each got to choose the mattress firmness we wanted on our side. In 35 years of marriage, we have never had a bed that we both enjoyed sleeping on until now!”

Lynnette S. | Satisfied Sleeper

A Mattress You Both Will Love

Solution #2: Try out an adjustable bed

One of the largest benefits of an adjustable bed is the ability to customize how your bed is positioned for maximum comfort and versatility! In our blog discussing what to do if your partner snores, we mention how adjustable mattress bases allow your partner to lift their head and upper body at an angle to keep their airways open throughout the night to reduce snoring. 

If you or your loved one has medical needs or difficulties getting in and out of bed, an adjustable bed can keep them comfortable throughout the night and make the mornings easier. Not to mention, having an adjustable bed can allow you and your partner to watch television, read, or even share a meal in bed more comfortably!

“My husband and I got a Casper a couple of years ago and were both having aches when we woke up. Once I was pregnant, my back and neck were hurting so much that we decided it was time to look for a new mattress. We got a new mattress and an adjustable base from Texas Mattress Makers and we are so happy!”

Kristy N. | Satisfied Sleeper

Don’t Want to Get a Sleep Divorce? Try a Custom Mattress from Texas Mattress Makers! 

If you and your partner struggle with sleep incompatibility, sometimes a sleep divorce is not always the answer. With a custom mattress from Texas Mattress Makers, you and your loved one can co-sleep comfortably and get the quality sleep you both deserve. 

Because we are the mattress manufacturer and all of our products are produced right here in our Downtown Houston factory, our mattresses are handcrafted and sold at factory-direct prices. That means you can get a top-quality custom mattress for an incredible price! You won’t find this level of quality for these low, factory prices anywhere else. 

Visit any of our mattress stores in Katy, Downtown Houston, The Woodlands, Rosenberg, Humble, or Baybrook, TX to speak with a mattress expert about sleep solutions for you and your bed buddy.

More Helpful Articles by Texas Mattress Makers:

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